Joan was quizzical, studied metaphysical science in the home 
Late nights all alone with a test-tube, Ohh-oh-oh-oh... 
Maxwell Edison majoring in medicine calls her on the phone 
"Can I take you out to the pictures Joa-oa-oa-oan?" 
But as she's getting ready to go a knock comes on the door... 
 
    Bang, bang, Maxwell's silver hammer came down upon
her head 
    Bang, bang, Maxwell's silver hammer made sure that she
was dead 
 
Back in school again Maxwell plays the fool again teacher gets annoyed 
Wishing to avoid an unpleasant sce-e-e-ene 
She tells Max to stay when the class has gone away so he waits behind 
Writing 50 times "I must not be so-o-o-oo..."
But when she turns her back on the boy 
He creeps up from behind    Chorus
 
P.C. Thirty-One said "we caught a dirty one" Maxwell stands alone 
Painting testimonial pictures ohh-oh-oh-oh
Rose and Valerie screaming from the gallery 
Say he must go free (Maxwell must go free) 
The judge does not agree and he tells them so-o-o-oo 
But as the words are leaving his lips, a noise comes from behind  
Chorus