Comedy Tonight Stephen Sondheim, A Funny Thing Happened On the Way to the Forum

Something familiar, something peculiar,
Something for everyone - A comedy tonight!
Something appealing, something appalling,
Something for everyone - A comedy tonight!

    Nothing with Kings, nothing with crowns,
    Bring on the lovers, liars and clowns!

Old situations, new complications,
Nothing portentous or polite:
Tragedy tomorrow, Comedy tonight!

Something expensive, something offensive,
Something for everyone - A comedy tonight!
Passions and potions, constant commotions,
Something for everyone - A comedy tonight!

    Nothing with Kings, nothing with Crowns,
    Bring on the lovers, liars and clowns!

Old situations, new complications,
Nothing portentous or polite:
Tragedy tomorrow - Comedy tonight!

Something convulsive, something repulsive,
Something for everyone - A comedy tonight!
Something esthetic, something balletic,
Something for everyone - A comedy tonight!

    Nothing with gods, nothing with fate,
    Weighty affairs will just have to wait.

Nothing that's formal, nothing that's normal,
No recitations to recite!
Open up the curtain - Comedy tonight!

Something familiar, something peculiar,
Something for everyone - Comedy tonight!
Something that's gaudy, something that's bawdy,
Something for everybawdy - Comedy tonight!

    No royal curse, no trojan horse,
    And a happy ending, of course!

Goodness and badness, man in his madness,
This time it all turns out all right!
Tragedy tomorrow!
Comedy Tonight!