Mrs. Claus, You've Got A Boring Husband
to the tune of "Mrs. Brown You've Got A Lovely Daughter"

Mrs. Claus, you've got a boring husband
While the big guy may be kinda cute
He's a dud, he spends more time with elves
Eats cookies by the score and only owns one suit

Only thing he cares about is children
All around the world he'd rather go
Christmas Eve, he never stays at home
And it must drive you nuts when he says, "Ho, ho, ho!"

Santa's a lout, makes you scream and shout, well
Just kick him out, show him what you're about

Doesn't shave or even bring you flowers (bring you flowers)
And his love for reindeer makes you sob (makes you sob)
Bad enough he doesn't have a car
Eleven months a year, he doesn't have a job

Santa's a lout, makes you scream and shout, well
Just kick him out, show him what you're about

If he wants to know if I've been naughty (I've been naughty)
Tell him I'm one of the nicest boys (nicest boys)
Don't you narc, don't tell him what I've said
He may be really dull, but he still gives me toys

Mrs. Claus, you've got a boring husband (boring husband)
Mrs. Claus, you've got a boring husband (boring husband)
Mrs. Claus, you've got a boring husband (boring husband)
Mrs. Claus, you've got a boring husband (boring husband)