A Christmas Carol Tom Lehrer

Christmas time is here, by golly, Disapproval would be folly
Deck the halls with hunks of holly, Fill the cup and don’t say “when”!
Kill the turkeys, ducks and chickens, Mix the punch and drag out the Dickens
Even thought the prospect thickens, Brother, here we go again!
On Christmas Day, you can’t get sore, Your fellow man you must adore
There’s time to rob him all the more, The other three-hundred and sixty-four
Relations sparring no expense’ll, Send some useless old utensil
Or a matching pen-and-pencil, “Just the thing I need...how nice.”
It doesn’t matter how sincere it, Is, nor how heart-felt the spirit
Sentiment’ll not endear it, What’s important is...the price!

Hark! The Herald Tribune sings, Advertising wond’rous things

God rest ye merry merchants; may ye make the Yuletide pay!

Angels we have heard on high, Tell us to go out and buy!

Let the raucous sleigh bells jingle, Hail our dear old friend, Kris Kringle
Driving his reindeer across the sky..., Don’t stand underneath when they fly by!