Lydia the Tattooed Lady                        Groucho Marx, ‘Yip’ Harburg, Harold Arlen

Lydia, oh! Lydia, say have you met Lydia, oh! Lydia the tattooed   lady!
She has eyes that folks adore, so, and a torso  even more so
Lydia, oh! Lydia, that encyclopedia, oh Lydia the Queen of tattoo!
On her back is the battle of Waterloo, beside it the Wreck of the Hesperus too,
And proudly above waves the Red, White and Blue, You can learn a lot from Lydia.

La la la,       la la la, La la la,       la la la

She can give you a view of the world in tattoo if you step up and tell her where
For a dime you can see Kankakee or Paree, or Washington crossing the Delaware.

La la la,         la la la,     La la la,       la la      la

Yip Harburg's alternate lyrics:

    Lydia, oh Lydia, say have you met Lydia, Lydia the Tattooed Lady,
    When she stands, her laps go littler, When she sits, she sits on Hitler.
                                                    - or -
    Oh  Lydia, oh Lydia, say have you met Lydia, oh! Lydia the Tattooed Lady,
    When her muscles start relaxin’, up the hill comes Andrew Jackson

    Yip Harbugs says that at this point, they were censored.  The studio said the song was too racy. Groucho Marx was desperate and begged Louis B. Mayer and anyone involved and said "Count me out of the picture". Mayer called Yip and Harold (Arlen) and said "What can we do? Can you clean up the song a little?". Yip went home and got some inspiration. The third chorus redeems the song and saved the picture.

Lydia, oh Lydia, that Encyclopedia, oh Lydia, the champ of them all.
For two bits she will do a Mazurka in Jazz, with a view of Niagara
(originally "Grand Canyon") that no artist (originally "nobody") has,
And on a clear day you can see Al  -  ca - traz, You can learn a lot from Lydia.  

La la la,         la la la,     La la la,       la la  la

Come along and see Buff’lo Bill with his lasso, Just a little classic by Mendel Picasso,
Here is Captain Spaulding exploring the Amazon,  and Godiva, but with her pajamas on.

La la la,         la la la,     La la la,       la la      la

Lydia, oh! Lydia, say have you met Lydia, oh Lydia the champ of them all!
She once swept an Admiral clear off his feet, the ships on her hips made his heart skip a beat,
And now the old boy’s in command  of    the  fleet for  he  went and married Lydia!