Do Your Ears Hang Low

Do your ears hang low? Do they wobble to and fro?
Can you tie them in a knot? Can you tie them in a bow?
Can you throw them o’er your shoulder
like a continental soldier? Do your ears hang low?
 
Do your ears hang high? Do they reach up to the sky?
Do they droop when they are wet? Do they stiffen when they’re dry?
Can you semaphore your neighbour
with a minimum of labour?
Do your ears hang high?
 
Do your ears flip-flop? Can you use them for a mop?
Are they stringy at the bottom? Are they curly at the top?
Can you use them for a swatter? Can you use them for a blotter?
Do your ears flip-flop?
 
Do your ears hang out? Can you waggle them about?
Can you flip them up and down as you fly around the town?
Can you shut them up for sure when you hear an awful bore?
Do your ears hang out?
 
Does your tongue hang down? Does it flop all around?
Can you tie it in a knot? Can you tie it in a bow?
Can you throw it o’er your shoulder like a Continental Soldier?
Does your tongue hang down?
 
Does your nose hang low? Does it wiggle to and fro?
Can you tie it in a knot? Can you tie it in a bow?
Can you throw it o’er your shoulder like a Continental Soldier?
Does your nose hang low?
 
Do your eyes pop out? Do they bounce all about?
Can you tie them in a knot? Can you tie them in a bow?
Can you throw them o’er your shoulder like a Continental Soldier?
Do your eyes pop out?
 
Do your ears stretch wide? Do they reach from side to side?
Can you use them as a parachute or wings that let you glide?
Can you cast a cooling shadow over most of Colorado?
Do your ears stretch wide?

Are your ears too big? Are they heavy as a pig?
Do they bruise your cerebellum when you dance an Irish jig?
Can they function as the anchors for a fleet of oil tankers?
Are your ears too big?
 
Are your ears real small? Barely visible at all?
Do they look just like two peanuts stuck onto a bowling ball?
Can you store them in a thimble when you’re feeling rather nimble?
Are your ears real small?

Are your ears quite clean? Do they have a lovely sheen?
Did you harvest all the vegetables that grow down in between?
Did you wash out all the soil after all your farming toil?
Are your ears quite clean?
 
Are your ears so thin? Do the breezes make ‘em spin?
Can you shine a light right through them like the finest onionskin?
Can you wrap up a salami? Do they fold like origami?
Are your ears so thin?
 
Do your ears hang high? Do they stretch up to the sky?
Do they shrink when they're wet?
Do they shrivel when they dry?
Can you semaphore a neighbor with a minimum of labor?
Do your ears hang high? Do your ears hang high?
 
Oh I had a little duck and it had a wooden leg.
Cutest little duck that ever laid an egg.
The skin of his belly was as tight as a drum.
Everytime he took a step, Rub-a dum dum dum.
 
Oh, I walked around the corner,
And I walked down the block
And I walked right into a donut shop.
I picked up a donut right out of the grease
I handed the lady a five-cent piece.
 
She looked at the nickel
And she looked at me.
She said, "This nickel's no good you see.
There's a hole in the middle and it goes right through."
Said I, "There's a hole in the donut too."
 
Oh, I walked up the door
And I opened up the stairs
Said my pajamas and jumped into my prayers.
Turned off my bed and climbed into the light
Just because he kissed me (smack) good-night!